Hello lovelies! This is Chris Cornell - multi-millionaire rock god with the self-esteem of a late-developing 17 year old girl. And, much like that 17 year old girl, I really love that hippety-hop, which is why I looked to Timbaland when it came to making my latest record/saving my solo career. Unfortunately, as you can see, my fans haven't taken too kindly to it, so I'm going on the road to tour the material. I'm sure once the fans see the music live, they'll understand that I'm still the grunge icon they know and love - just singing slightly outdated production line r'n'b. Old meets old - it's the wave of the future!
Unfortunately, my tour got off to a rough start last night. It wasn't even so much that the crowd didn't get behind the music... It seems the "Scream tour" had people confused, and they all came dressed as serial killers in funny masks. This wasn't so bad - I even tried playing along by brutally murdering three people. I then tried playing it off as a clever pastiche of the modern horror movie, but the crowd just kind of wept, and Yogi called the police.
Unfortunately, my tour got off to a rough start last night. It wasn't even so much that the crowd didn't get behind the music... It seems the "Scream tour" had people confused, and they all came dressed as serial killers in funny masks. This wasn't so bad - I even tried playing along by brutally murdering three people. I then tried playing it off as a clever pastiche of the modern horror movie, but the crowd just kind of wept, and Yogi called the police.
Wow that sounds exactly like my Cornell experience! I called the karma police in an effort to contain the arrogance of the situation, but the roadie took my pink cell phone, poked me in the eye, and then threw me under the tour bus before I could file a report with the better fan bureau. :( An old indian stopped to scrape me off the road later, but he was only interested in my skin. My heart is still sitting somewhere on the side of I-95 and my soul could not be reached for comment.
ReplyDeleteSo which songs did you use as the murder weapons?
ReplyDelete